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Di Zi Gui  

2009-03-29 16:43:14|  分类: wisdom |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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Di Zi Gui

Standards for Being a Good Student and Child

 

CONTENTS

Introduction

Outline

Chapter 1: At Home, Be Dutiful to Your Parents

Chapter 2: Standards for a Younger Brother When Away from Home

Chapter 3: Be Cautious in Your Daily Life

Chapter 4: Be Trustworthy

Chapter 5: Love All Equally

Chapter 6: Be Close to and Learn from People of Virtue and Compassion

Chapter 7: After All the Above Are Accomplished, Study Further and Learn

                 Literature and Art to Improve Your Cultural and Spiritual Life

[1]

was taught by Chinese saints and sages of the ancient past.

First, it teaches you how to be dutiful to your parents, and how to be respectful and loving to your siblings.[2]

Then it teaches you how to be cautious with all people, matters, and things in your daily life, and how to be a trustworthy person, and to believe in the teachings of the ancient saints and sages.[3]

Furthermore, it teaches you to love all equally, and to be close to and learn from people of virtue and compassion.

When you have accomplished all the above duties, you can study further and learn literature and art to improve the quality of your cultural and spiritual life.

[4] If you do, you are not being a dutiful child because parents do not want to see their child doing things that are irrational or illegal. Even though an object may be small, do not hoard it. If you do, your parents will be heartbroken.[5] If whatever pleases your parents is fair and reasonable, try your best to get it for them.[6] Should something displease your parents, if within reason,[7] cautiously keep it away from them.

     When your body is hurt, your parents will be worried. If your virtues[8] are compromised, your parents will feel ashamed.    When you have loving parents, it is not difficult to be a dutiful child. But if you are still dutiful to parents who hate you, only then will it meet the standards of the saints and sages for being a dutiful child.

     When your parents do wrong, urge them to change. Do it with a kind facial expression_ and a warm gentle voice. If they do not accept your advice, wait until they are in a happier mood before you dissuade them again, followed by crying to make them understand why. If they end up whipping you,[9] do not hold a grudge against them.

     When your parents are ill, taste the medicine first before giving it to them.[10] Take care of them night and day; do not leave their bedside. During the first three years of mourning after they passed away, remember them with gratitude and feel sad often for not being able to repay them for their kindness in raising you. During this period you should arrange your home to reflect your grief and sorrow. Avoid festivities and indulgence in food and alcoholic drinks.

     Observe the proper etiquette[11] in arranging their funerals. Hold the memorial ceremony and commemorate their anniversaries with your utmost sincerity. Serve your departed parents as if they were still alive.[12]

[13]

     When siblings value their ties more than property and belongings, no resentment will grow among them. When siblings are careful with words and hold back hurtful comments, feelings of anger naturally die out. Whether you are drinking, eating, walking, or sitting, let the elders go first; younger ones should follow. When an elder is asking for someone, get that person for him right away. If you cannot find that person, immediately report back, and put yourself at he elderˇs service instead.

     When you address an elder, do not call him by his given name.[14] This is in accord with ancient Chinese etiquette. In front of an elder, do not show off. If you meet an elder you know on the street, promptly clasp your hands and greet him with a bow. If he does not speak to you, step back and respectfully stand aside. Should you be riding on a horse and you spot an elder you know walking[15], you should dismount and pay respect to the elder. If you are riding in a carriage,[16] you should stop, get out of the carriage, and ask if you can give him a ride. If you meet an elder passing by, you should stand aside and wait respectfully; do not leave until you can no longer see him.

     When an elder is standing, do not sit. After an elder sits down, sit only when you are told to do so. Before an elder, speak softly. But if your voice is too low and hard to hear, it is not appropriate. When meeting an elder, walk briskly towards him; when leaving, do not exit in haste. When answering a question, look at the person who is asking you the question.

     Serve your uncles as if you are serving your parents; [17]Treat your cousins as if they are your own siblings.[18]

[19] When you get up in the morning, wash your face and brush your teeth. After using the toilet, always wash your hands. You must wear your hat straight,[20] and make sure the hooks[21] of your clothes are tied. Make sure socks and shoes are worn neatly and correctly. Place your hat and clothes away in their proper places. Do not carelessly throw your clothes around, for that will get them dirty.

     It is more important that your clothes are clean, rather than how extravagant they are. When with an elder or people of importance, wear what is suitable for your station. At home, wear clothes according to your family traditions and customs. When it comes to eating and drinking, do not pick and choose your food. Eat only the right amount; do not over eat. You are still too young, do not drink alcohol. When you are drunk, your behavior will turn ugly.

     Walk composed, with light and even steps. Stand up straight and tall. Your bows should be deep, with hands held in front and arms rounded. Always pay your respect with reverence.[22]

     Do not step on doorsills. Do not stand leaning on one leg. Do not sit with your legs apart or sprawled out. Do not rock the lower part of your body while sitting down.

     Lift the curtain slowly,[23] do not make a sound. Leave yourself room when you turn to make sure you do not bump into a corner.

     Hold carefully empty containers as if they were full.[24] Enter empty rooms as if they were occupied.[25] Avoid doing things in a hurry, as doing things in haste will lead to many mistakes. Do not be afraid of difficult tasks, but do not become careless when a job is too easy. Keep away from rowdy places, and do not ask about things that are abnormal or unusual. When you are about to enter a main entrance, ask if someone is inside. Before entering a room, make yourself heard, so that those inside know someone is approaching. If someone asks who you are, give your name. To answer ¨It is me〃 or ¨Me〃 is not clear. Before borrowing things from others, you must ask for permission. If you do not ask, it is stealing. When borrowing things from others, return them promptly. Later on, when you have an urgent need, you will not have a problem borrowing from them again.

[26] you will thoroughly understand. If you have a question, make a note of it. Ask the person who has the knowledge for the right answer.

     Keep your room neat, your walls uncluttered and clean, your desk tidy and your brush[27] and inkstone[28] properly placed. If your ink block[29] is ground unevenly, it shows you have a poor state of mind.

     When words are written carelessly, showing no respect, it shows your state of mind has not been well. The books[30] should be classified, placed on the book shelves, and in their proper places. After you finish reading a book, put it back in its right place. Even though you are in a hurry neatly roll up and bind the open bamboo scroll you were reading. Any missing or damaged pages are to be repaired. If it is not a book on the teachings of the saints and sages, it should be discarded and not even be looked at. These other books can block your intelligence and wisdom, and will undermine your aspiration and sense of direction.

     Neither be harsh on yourself, nor give up on yourself.

     To be a person of high ideals, moral standards and virtue is something we can all attain in time.


[1] Select from Analects of Confucius, Book⒐, Chapter 6. It was taught by Confucius, Mencius, and other Chinese saints and sages of the ancient past.

[2] ¨Xiao〃 and ¨Ti〃 have been the very foundation of Chinese culture for five thousand years. Xiao ¨У〃 means to be dutiful to oneˇs parents with affection, and to understand the basic relationship of grandparents, parents and self. In ideogram form, xiao has two components- the top part of xiao is the top portion of the word elder ¨ρ〃 and the bottom part is the word son ¨.〃 Combined, it implies that the older generation and the younger generation are one: that there should be no gap between them. In Buddhism, the meaning is further extended. Outside the family, the child should treat every male and female of the parentsˇ generation as if they were the childˇs own father and mother. Ti ¨〃 means sincere fraternal love. Here it is used more as the principle and standard of conduct of the younger brother towards his older brother when the younger brother is away from home. In Buddhism, its meaning also extends further to include conduct towards all older persons of any one generation.

[3] 〃To believe in the teachings of the ancient saints and sages〃 means to actually practice and put the teachings of the ancient saints and sages into effect.

[4] For example, in Buddhism, it is considered breaking the precept of not stealing if you borrow a piece of paper or take someoneˇs pen without permission. It is considered breaking the precept of not killing if you kill an ant or mosquito. If you lie or talk about someone behind his back, you have broken the precept of not lying, etc.

[5] Your parents will be saddened by your actions, because if their child behaves in such a way when he is still young, then he will probably twist the law in order to obtain bribes and be a curse to his country and his people when he grows up.

[6] If what pleases your parents is illegitimate or unreasonable, you should tactfully dissuade your parents, and tell them the reasons why they should not have it.

[7] You should lead your parents to proper views and understanding of things.

[8] Virtues are standards and principles of one’s conduct. In China a man’s conduct is ruled by “Wu Chang” 五常and “Ba De”八德. “Wu Chang” are the five moral principles: kindheartedness 仁, personal loyalty義, proper etiquette 禮, wisdom智, and trustworthiness信. “Ba De” are the eight virtues: duty to parents 孝, respect for elders悌, loyalty忠, credibility信, proper etiquette禮, personal loyalty義, a sense of honor廉, and a sense of shame恥.

[9] In ancient China, when a child did not obey the parents, the parents were allowed to discipline the child. If a child refused to be disciplined, the parents had the right to ask the authorities to have the child executed.

[10] Chinese people take herbal medicine prescribed by Chinese doctors. Herbs are boiled with water to make a liquid medicine. Before giving such medicine to oneˇs parents, a child should taste it first to make sure it is not too hot or too bitter.

[11] In ancient China, etiquette for funerals was set by the emperor.

[12] When our parents were alive, we should have treated them with our love and respect. After they pass away, we should arrange their funerals with our deepest sorrow. For all the subsequent commemorations and anniversaries held, we should show our love and respect as if they were still alive.

[13] Parents are happy when their children get along with each other. This is one way children can show they are dutiful to their parents.

[14] In Ancient China, a male person had at least two names. The first name was the ¨given name,〃 which was given to him by his parents when he was born. A second name was given to him by his friends when he reached the age of 20, at a ¨Ceremony of the Hat〃 given in his honor to announce his coming of age. After that only his parents called him by his ¨given name.〃  Everyone else, out of respect, including the emperor, could only call him by his second name. The only exception was if he committed a crime. During sentencing, he would be called by his ¨given name.〃

[15] In Ancient China, most people used horses or carriages as their means of transportation.

[16] See footnote 14.

[17] See footnote 2.

[18] See footnote 2.

[19] There is an old Chinese proverb: ¨A unit of time is as precious as a unit of gold, but you cannot buy back one unit of time with one unit of gold.〃 It means that time is really very precious, as no amount of money can buy time.

[20] In ancient China, when a male wore a hat, it meant he had passed the age of becoming an adult.

[21] In ancient China, in place of buttons, people used hooks. When dressed, hooks had to be tied.

[22] In ancient China, people paid their respect to other people by bowing, holding one hand over the other which is closed, or prostrating on the ground.

[23] In ancient China, curtains were made of bamboo strips woven together. They were used to shelter a room from view.

[24] Even though a container may be empty, out of reverence to things, whether living or not, one should treat it with respect and handle it with care.

[25] In ancient China, a virtuous man always behaved properly, regardless of whether he was alone or with others.

[26] If you do not understand part of book you are reading, read it again and again, even for a thousand times. Its meaning will come to you naturally.

[27] ¨Brush〃 here means a Chinese writing brush.

[28] ¨Inkstone〃 is a stone stand used for the preparing and holding the ink used in Chinese brush calligraphy.

[29] ¨Ink block〃 is a solid ink piece. A person grinds it with water against he inkstone to make ink for writing Chinese brush calligraphy.

[30] Here ¨books〃 refer to books on laws, constitutions, and the structural systems of a nation.

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